That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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