i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
