it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
