Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We have so much sex to catch up on
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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