I showed him my bush... on skype.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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