Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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