ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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