yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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