it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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