Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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