What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
