I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
