Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well I just put wine in my tea
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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