yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
