Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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