I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel great
I just peed on a car
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
