I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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