Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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