just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
