I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
What a dumb baby whore.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
