my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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