i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
