Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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