Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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