What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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