hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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