I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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