Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
