So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
