If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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