1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
