i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
