I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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