I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
