I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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