I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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