I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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