I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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