After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
