i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Are my feet made of real feet?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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