Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
