Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Let's paint friendship bongs
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he just fucked me for my cheese.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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