WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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