RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
