physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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