I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
