i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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