Whod you bang
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
