I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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