I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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