please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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