the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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