Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize