My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
