How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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