Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
