Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There are leaves in my underwear?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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