My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
